life lately.

i apologize for the lack of posts lately...to be honest, I have been avoiding it. So much has happened in the past few weeks. beautiful moments. frustrating moments. and silly moments, too.

let's talk about some frustrating moments first, so we can end on a high note...

I love teaching my peer-health education group. I love my girls, and even recently I recruited one, brave male to join our troop...trust me, i'm all about the small victories. My students make me laugh until I cry (they try to teach me how to be thug...insert great mental image here), but they break my heart as well. Some are in gangs, others are into drugs, and have horrific family problems. Because of them and their stories, I don't think I can possibly view the world and our country in the same light. I am ruined and I can't help but feel completely and utterly helpless and unqualified at work. My measly biomedical science degree is worthless and I really bring very little experience to the table. I have to keep telling myself...ok, al, breathe. get over your obstacles, you are a JV, this is what you signed up for (maybe? or absolutely not at all?), and focus. Rather than focus on what seems like insurmountable differences amongst myself and my students, I try to simply be present to them...to meet them where they are, and listen, and educate, provoke discussion, lead by example. i've seen so much beauty and glimpses of God in that.

A coworker and I finally started our substance abuse group at the high school. Our first meeting with the teens was intense and powerful and frustrating. To hear the stories of what oakland teens are exposed to at such a young age was disturbing, but to hear their hope and will for change was inspiring. It left me feeling ready to burst into tears, nervous giggle, and smile all at once. Again, I remind myself to be present and supportive. The group meets each Wednesday.

Sorry these last two paragraphs are so disjointed and full of half thoughts, but that's all I got right now :) Work has been crazy busy lately...since the new school clinic opens in a few short weeks. IM SO EXCITED.

In other news, i am falling in love with my community (HI CASAMATES). sure, sometimes we drive each other crazy, but i am so thankful for all their support and love. we can be silly and laugh as we enjoy a meal or have a discussion about social justice or spirituality. i love hearing their different perspectives and having those sometimes really uncomfortable conversations. in the last few weeks, i feel like we have taken leaps and bounds as a community, because we got off to a really slow start. i'm so grateful for their effort and commitment to our casa, because it really is like a 2nd full-time job. as many of you know, i have never been very good at letting people into my thoughts and support me, but i have decided that this is the year to take the plunge. it's a work in progress!

...and we threw a BANGIN halloween party this past weekend. JVs from Sacromento, San Jose, Santa Clara, and Oakland made the trek to Berkeley. It was really wonderful to see everyone, since we haven't all been together since orientation, and it's really refreshing to be around people who are sharing a similar JV experience.

sending my love love love.

P dot S i'll be in the CLE in 3 short weeks. So pumped. Call me and we'll rendezvous